Public speaking is one of the number one fears in a person’s life. If you’re one of those people then fear not, you’re not alone.
Even famous public speakers get butterflies in their stomach before speaking in front of a crowd.
Anyone that has previously made a wedding speech, may remember the nerves leading up to the speeches, and the feeling of wanting it all to be over so you can get on and
enjoy the day.
Here are some helpful tips to combat those pre-wedding speech nerves, that will help you enjoy the whole day, and at the same time deliver an outstanding speech.
Before the Wedding
Practice the speech at least 5-7 times before the wedding.
Start by writing it down word for word, and then practice reading it out loud at least 2-3 times in front of a friend or a mirror.
Then make small index cards and write down all the keywords you will need to help you remember the speech.
For example if you want to tell a story of when your daughter was born, you could write the word “birth” on the index card. That word should then help you remember the whole story.
Using this method you will only need to write down around 5 to 8 words in order to remember a speech that is 5 to 8 minutes long.
Then practice the speech with the index cards another 2-3 times in front of your friend or a mirror.
On the wedding day, it should be enough to practice only once in the morning with the index cards and then you should be good to go.
How to overcome the nervousness
Whether you are standing at a table or up on a stage; stand straight with equal weight on both feet.
Look around at all the guests and establish eye contact before you start. This will display confidence.
If you’re prone to shaky knees then lean onto a table or hold onto something, but don’t sit down. By standing you show the newlyweds your respect and you make yourself visible to the guests.
If shaky hands are an issue, then keep them behind your back, leaving the index cards on the table where you can see them. You can also try and hold on to something.
If you are very nervous, then you can also try being forthright and tell the guests. You might say something like “I’m not used to public speaking, so please bear with me”.
As most people are afraid of public speaking they will understand.
Opener
The beginning of your speech is when people are focusing on you and really hearing what you say. A good speech has a good opening and a good closing.
Begin by introducing yourself. Then follow your introduction with something interesting or funny, whatever suits your style.
Middle
In the middle of the speech you could tell a nice or funny story about the couple. Keep it short and straight to the point though, excluding unnecessary explanations; this way you
keep their attention at all times. Try to keep it between 3 to 4 minutes long.
Closing
Most wedding speeches are closed by raising your glass to toast the happy couple and wish them the very best for the future.
You could also try to be a bit different and read them a poem or a famous quote.
If you’re still struggling, here are some tips of what to put in your speech according to your role in the wedding party.
Master of Ceremony
Their job is to call for the guest’s attention and either introduces each speaker in turn or just the first speaker
The Bride’s Father.
They will also finalize the wedding speeches by encouraging the guests to enjoy the rest of the evening.
The Bride’s Father
A bride’s father would say how proud he is of his daughter and welcome his new son-in-law and the groom’s parents to his family. He would then give some advice and well wishes to the couple.
The speech would be finished off by proposing a toast to the happy couple.
The Groom
The groom traditionally speaks next. He would thank the guests for their attendance and also thank the bride’s parents for giving him their daughter in marriage.
He would then go on to compliment the bride and pay tribute to his own parents.
Then acknowledgement would be made to everyone that had helped with the wedding arrangements, along with the best man.
Finally he would propose a toast to the bridesmaids, complimenting them and recognizing their help and support throughout the wedding.
The Bride
Although the bride is not expected to make a speech, she may choose to say a few words now if she wishes to do so.
The Best Man
Officially, his duty is to reply on behalf of the bridesmaids.
He would thank the groom for making him best man at his wedding and also say a nice compliment of appreciation to the bridesmaids.
This would then lead into an informal speech about the bride and groom, adding in some nice or funny stories.
If there are additional speeches or toasts to be made, they are done so at this time.
When delivering a speech at a wedding it’s important to remember most of the guests will be your family or friends, and in some cases know you very well.
They are not there to judge you, so try to relax and enjoy the special occasion.
If you would like any help or advice on any aspect of organizing your wedding, then please do not hesitate to contact me on the email below and I would be more than happy to answer any questions or queries you may have.
Bernadette Garside